Just as the process of living is natural, sacred and beautiful—so too can be the process of dying.
Lindsey Rose
After helping a few close loved ones pass I realized how important it is that more people have access to responsible and informed guidance as they navigate their own journey through death.
I received my formal doula training from Sacred Crossings, an institute on Conscious Dying, and I’m registered with NEDA (National End-of-Life Doula Alliance).
Preparation is essential for you and your loved ones.
Just as the process of living is natural, sacred, and beautiful—so too is the process of dying.
Unfortunately, our modern medical institutions have made the process of dying unnecessarily complicated and dishonest, which is why I started Deathsong Doula, LLC.
Preparing for your own death takes time and thought. Conversations need to take place between yourself, your loved ones and—in particular—your medical proxy so that your wishes are fulfilled and your representatives are clear and confident in the decisions they will make on your behalf. These wishes can include appointing medical representatives, articulating directions for future medical interventions, vigil planning, and after-death care.
The way in which we live is often indicative of the way in which we die. By doing the work of preparing ourselves for death, at any stage in our lives, we prepare ourselves to live better, to die better, and to bring our loved ones more peace as we transition through the final stages of our mortality.
If you wish for support or guidance in navigating the dying process, I invite you to initiate our conversation by sending a message to Lindsey Rose at deathsongdoula@gmail.com.
Death File Checklist
Gather these documents and conversations into one place, and revisit them as life changes.
Start hereThe Death File
- Advance Care Directive based on state (or states) of residence—signed and notarized
- Additional instructions should be typed, attached and include:
- Wishes during treatment
- Wishes during the death journey
- Wishes for after-death care
- Additional instructions should be typed, attached and include:
- PSAS form—personal self-assessment scale to be used by representatives when initiated
- Advance Directive for Dementia—signed and notarized
- Disposition of body and after-death plan
Also gatherAdditional Checklist for Areas of Importance
- Will/Trust and Certificate of Trust
- Durable Power of Attorney for Finance
- Life Insurance Policy
- Bank Account Information
- Real Estate Documents and Deeds
- Funeral Pre-need Documents and Funeral Insurance (if any)
- Debtor Information (if any)
- Copy of Driver’s License and Social Security Card
- Copy of Marriage and/or Divorce Certificates
- Letters to Loved Ones
LaterAfter Diagnosis, During Treatment, and/or Elderly Stage
- Revisit PSAS form and update for current condition
- Revisit and review Advance Directive—“wishes during treatment”
- Fill out POLST form—physician orders for life-sustaining treatment
- DNR—do not resuscitate
- DNI—do not intubate
- DNH—do not hospitalize
- Palliative Care plan if wanted
- Go over personal communications expectations
- Begin “Am I okay to die” activities and soul cleanup
- Financial, insurance and business arrangement updates
At the endDuring the Death Journey
- Revisit PSAS form and update for condition
- Revisit and review Advance Directive—“wishes during death journey”
- Palliative Care initiation
- POLST update—physician orders for life-sustaining treatment
- DNR—do not resuscitate
- DNI—do not intubate
- DNH—do not hospitalize
- Hospice initiation
- Revisit disposition of body/funeral service from Death File
- Letters to loved ones? Video or audio messages?
“Picture a wave in the ocean. You can see it, measure it—its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. It’s there and you can see it and you know what it is. It’s a wave.
And then it crashes on the shore, and it’s gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while.
That’s one conception of death for a Buddhist. The wave returns to the ocean—where it came from, and where it’s supposed to be.”
Vigil & Remembrance
Death can be held at home, outdoors, among friends—surrounded by flowers, stories, and the people who love us.
Alan Watts on “The Dream of Life”
A short meditation on death, imagination, and what it might mean to wake up from the dream of being a separate self.
Begin the conversation
If you wish for support or guidance in navigating the dying process—for yourself or someone you love—I invite you to reach out.
Contact Me Lindsey Rose · Deathsong Doula, LLCPO Box 1566, Helena, MT 59624
deathsongdoula@gmail.com